Oh dear god, what has Devon done to deserve this twat?

We are currently graced with turd face - David hasselhoff no less - which is gaggable enough without a female reporter who was bordering on orgasm when she wrote the article for our weekly newspaper. See the first para and you'll see what I mean.

I think I may try and find him and ask him quite why Pipex is such a swine to leave. There again, common sense tells me to avoid the area where he is going to be like the plague which may prove very difficult as he's being sighted all over the place.

He has already managed to upset a lot of people who took time off to attend their lifeboat (being volunteers) by arrangement for a photo shoot with him to raise awareness and money for the RNLI and the twat didn't bother to turn up or even notify the crew that he had cancelled the long term arrangement with them. It was politely reported that “he cancelled at the last minute” and the people waiting for him arrived at the self same conclusion after about half an hour of hanging around for him before finally giving up.

However, he is managing to find the time to turn up for events where the press and TV cameras have previously been arranged (bless!)

The Dumpling has become a snob

I have recently taken to sitting in my little chair in the garden typing emails to friends on my net book and telling them that "I was sitting in the garden by the pool" so in consequence they all think I have won the lottery and moved to a palatial home with a swimming pool in the grounds..... though one friend nearly got it right by asking me if I was outside and soaking my feet in a washing up bowl full of water.

I’ll exhaust the joke by next week and let them all know that I actually had my feet in Raki’s swimming pool that I recently bought for her to cool down in (Thoughtfully delivered without those two humans)

It’s only 40 inches in diameter and ten inches high but a pool is a pool innit? So if I gave the impression that it was something far grander then it must be the hidden snob in me.

(Message to Liz – Don’t go and get one for George for heavens sakes as he’ll chew the bloody thing up in about 30 seconds flat!)

For our cousins over the pond

Happy 4th July to you all

Getting your hot little paws on your own cash

It’s becoming increasingly difficult trying to withdraw your money from cash point machines these days isn’t it?

IE “cannot open page” error messages

I am wondering if the cause is the same problem that I wrote about last August?

Because this is the identical problem happening all over again.


I have resolved it temporarily by doing the following:-

Click on tools
Internet options
Advanced
Go down to the browser section and untick the “show friendly HTTP error messages”


Now, when you next see that pop up “can’t open” DON’T press ok but click on the little cross in the square on the top right of the error message box. Then you will be able to continue posting, reading or answering on a blog.

If I am right then last year bloggers with site meter were affected but also were the bloggers who didn't have site meter but were trying to read a blog that did were also receiving the error messages. So, seems to me that the same thing is happening again but IE does not like some HTML somewhere and it is NOT due to an update as I don't do updates, but it is affecting IE6, IE7, and IE8 users. (I feel a Firefox moment coming on)

Meanwhile my money is on Site meter and I may temporarily remove it tomorrow to see if it resolves the problem, before I blame Bill Gates.

IE “cannot open page” error messages - part deux

Browser not responding. I’m not listening!

Corrupt system error. Although your system is working fine, there is a newer version of Windows available. Internet Explorer will now begin to sabotage your system so parts will not work right until you buy the Windows upgrade to “fix” these problems.

Enjoyment disabled. Your Internet Explorer has disabled enjoyment for this site.

Integration error. Microsoft’s screwup is now in every application.

Dear blogging world, You have not gotten any error messages recently, so here is random one just to let you know that we haven’t started caring. We'll send it to most of you just for fun.

Google is up but half the blogs are down (you think!!) and I don’t know what direction you are trying to.. to…

Too many Internet Explorer windows are open. Internet Explorer has become confused and will now die.

You attempted to access your blog on Firefox. You may not do that. As punishment for this treachery, Internet Explorer will be restored and additional unwanted components will be added.

Two meals for a quid

I did a sortie of the local market and homed in on Pete, my friendly fishmonger as he had the catch of the day netted just a few hours previously.

Today was a dumpling ‘buy some fresh mackerel’ day and as you can see I ended up with two 14” little babies which I picked up for 50p each. What price a supermarket, eh?

So – they are now cleaned and gutted and one is ready for my evening meal. Thought you would like to share a recipe but please don’t opt for chips because it’s doing mackerel a great disservice. You could forego the new potatoes and have a mixed salad instead, but tonight the following recipe and the new potatoes are what I shall be pigging out on.


Ingredients (for one) so double it for two – estimate a bit extra for three or more

1 whole mackerel
½ lemon
2 fresh rosemary leaves
1 garlic clove, sliced
½ small red onion, thinly sliced
2 tbsp cider or apple juice
Boiled new potatoes
Salt and freshly ground pepper

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 8 or fan oven 180C/350F/Gas 4 from cold.
2. Put each fish into a large square of tin foil and season the fish inside and out with salt and pepper.
3. Slice the lemon, then cut each slice in half. Tuck the lemon slices inside each fish with a couple of rosemary sprigs and a few garlic slices.
4. Scatter over with the onion and pour 2 tbsp cider or apple juice around each fish.
5. Wrap the foil loosely around each fish to make a parcel, and bake for 25 minutes.
6. Serve with new potatoes.

To bee, or not to bee

I couldn’t believe my eyes this morning to see not one bee but three of them all busy shopping for pollen from my plants.

They are so scarce these days that it was a delight to watch one of them busily wandering from flower to flower and flying off fully laden.

Word obviously got out in the hive fraternity because a short time later I saw three bees and two butterflies. To me, this is what nature is all about.


So a quick share of my container garden







<---------fuschia










<--------tons of strawberries









<------ sweet smelling stocks













<------sweet peas

<--------- minature rose

I have candytuft fighting with godetia and currently the 36 stocks rule the roost, and each evening the fragrance from the plants wafting into my mud hut is incredible. Night scented stocks and carnations are almost in bloom too. It's bliss.

Now, if only the temperature would get to over 90F I would be in total heaven.

Thought for the day

A toe is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

I've read the book, seen the film, and ate the pie

(and I don't mean reading Watership Down and seeing the film or eating a rabbit pie)

Well, I'm not really referring to Sicily Scene’s blog (but moaning like hell about her) because all I keep seeing are these succulent tasty dishes that she is eating or her friends are cooking for her to join in with eating, and now its bloody ice cream photos that she is sharing on the blogsphere and bragging about isn’t it?

I have resorted to begging comments on her posts suggesting that she should write/publish a recipe book. Much more of reading her blog I swear that I’ll resort to blackmail and insist that she writes/publishes a recipe book. Much much more of reading her blog then I’ll simply pack a suitcase and turn up on her doorstep all unannounced and uninvited for a gastronomic holiday in Sicilian heaven (and sod going to visit the sights)

I need to lose a bit of ballast so I need the Mediterranean diet, but right now I really hate her with a passion as all I see are photos of meals that I would dearly love to make and its well and truly rubbed my nose in to now be seeing photos of ice cream (heck, us dieting bloggers are allowed the occasional calorie transgression are we not) Meanwhile, she is living far enough away for me to pick on and write a hate post about her.

Welshcakes? Time to write your own recipe book! I’ll regularly be sending you hate mail until you do.

Postcards from the edge

It seems to me that in the 21st century the art of buying, writing, and bothering to send postcards to friends or family has become totally unfashionable and it’s such a shame.

I don’t mean the cartoon type of postcards with the husband and his obese wife on the beach (she crammed into her tight swimming costume and he sitting in a deckchair with a knotted handkerchief over his bald head and one licking an ice cream cone) I mean the postcards with sights and scenic views that someone you know is lucky enough to either live or are holidaying in.

As a person whose last holiday was 12 years ago I often drool about people I know going away on that magical word h-o-l-i-d-a-y so it really is very nice to receive a postcard from them because it does not rub my nose into the fact that I am stuck in Bideford and neither does the postcard ever say “I’m on holiday and you aint, nyah nyah nyah nyah”

I received a postcard today from an acquaintance who had previously asked me for my address and actually remembered/bothered to send me a postcard whilst on their holiday. I was thrilled to bits to receive it. Of course I am as envious as hell and totally jealous of the sights that they are enjoying which I can only share via squashed thumbnail sized prints rammed onto a postcard, but it was so nice that someone had actually bothered to take the time and trouble to think of me and send me a postcard. So for a brief moment the mailman shared the views and enjoyed them too (so he said) and I can enjoy it for weeks to come in its place of honour on my fridge door.

Send a postcard to someone today just to let them know that you are thinking about them. They really are so nice to receive.

A lethal combination

Take my bad back and combine it with my Vax Rapide XL carpet washer and the result is that I have seriously buggered up my back - again. Mind you, the carpet really does look so nice!

The weight of the thing (empty) is 11.3 kg which means it’s a heavy swine to carry and the only place I can store it is in the spare bedroom. This means getting/bumping the vax up and down 14 stairs. Which I did – yesterday.

So, talking about this Vax, it cleans and sucks the floorboards let alone the carpet and underlay, which makes it a very manually heavy piece of equipment to operate and lug about but it does a fantastic job.

The problem was getting it back into the spare room as it is far easier to bump the wheels of the machine down the stairs but you need to lug/pull it/carry it back up the stairs. In consequence I have done my back in - again.

I said to my Doctor and Physiotherapist in February that I did not rate pain as a scale between 1 to 10, I worked on 1 to 20 principle and used 1 to 10 as severity of ache and 11 – 20 as severity of pain. So when I first messed up a few discs I could rate it as being about 18 and ongoing acupuncture has taken it down to about 3. Now I am back to about 14 so I doubt if physio will be pleased with me when I hobble in this Friday.

My only solace is that the carpet is like new but I have nobody to rub my back for the next few days (so all sensible offers from male bloggers will be seriously considered)

80F+ in the shade so today is a hot curry day

I feel so sorry for bloggers like Angus whose brain melted yesterday in the heat and its even hotter today so heavens knows how he is feeling, coping, or whether he is still in fact alive.

Its such beautiful weather! Bring it on – give me heat and sun as I only start to wilt when the temperature gets to over 110F (as it did when I was in Africa)

So tonight my meal is a nice hot curry because I know jolly well that a hot spicy meal cools you down. Strangely though none of my friends want to eat with me tonight and I really can't understand why.

Puhlease – not another 6 weeks of it!

I can’t pick up a newspaper or see the TV news without being bombarded with news about Michael Jackson and I’ve had more than enough already.

What is bugging me are the stories that “the whole world mourns”……ummm, I don’t. That “we are all heartbroken and can’t stop crying” ……ummm, I’m neither.
That “we’ll always remember what we were doing when the tragic news broke”…….ummm, I’ve already forgotten.

Was I ever a fan? Nope.

It irritates me that so many celebs and those who were associated with him past and present are now all crawling out of the woodwork saying ‘they always feared something like this would happen’ well ok, if they were so desperately worried and concerned then why didn’t they DO something at the time?

The autopsy report will take 6 weeks which I have no doubt will conclude that a cocktail of drug abuse was the cause of death. In the meantime the newspapers have a dead cash cow to dredge up stories about to feed their ghoulish, morbid, broken hearted, mourning readers. Streuth.

I am sure that Michael will leave a long term legacy of his music and talents as he obviously possessed plenty of both, but please don’t give me another 6 weeks of this!

What's wrong with the 25th June for chrissakes??

I woke up after a 5 hour deep and refreshing sleep.

For once, my dog did not opt into her demanding
" I WILL be obeyed" mode and for once my Cockatiel did not bite my nose off when I got too close to his cage when I simply wished him a 'Good morning'.

I went out shopping and no motorist or trolley-pusher upset me. I came home as happy as anything and had no argument with any fellow motorist, pedestrian, driver, shop assistant, neighbour or the weather in my coming or going.

BUT - I have suddenly gone into ballistic mode and for no reason, so is it the weather? Is it suddenly the hormones kicking in? Personally, I blame Jonathan Ross ; the BBC license fee ; the increase in petrol Comrade Brown.

If all else fails I'll blame Sally who is currently in Peru so can't fight back and has been strangely silent for 6 days (dunno what she and Geoff are doing) or I certainly could also blame Welshcakes, who (despite all my begging letters and my final demands) still refuses to send me Red Cross hampers of foodylode/ home made wine and spirits/ or jam or cakes or biscuits or tomatoes or olives or anything consumable that she brags posts about always together with umpteen photos all as proof which are all guaranteed each and every time to get her bloggers drooling all over their keyboards.

So as to quite what is wrong with 25th of June? I think its probably all Sally's and Welshcakes fault!

A notice to all my creditors

I address this notification to the Gas, Electricity and Water Companies.

None of you have a sense of humour do you? You all keep putting your charges up and simply never ever consider that some people who are disabled and on job seekers allowances still actually have to eat with money received from their fortnightly pittance which never increases to the percentage that your charges constantly do.

There comes a time when some of us have an enforced day of fasting followed by another day of simply eating just toast – and no, we don’t live on caviar or the prime cuts of meat, or have holidays, buy luxuries or clothes but we do invent great menus for pasta with gravy and just what to do with a load of dried herbs and some hot water.

However, none of you creditors have any sense of humour, do you?

I keep notifying you all that in all honesty every month I read, note and then place your bills into a gallon bucket. Once a month I close my eyes and pull out one bill and whoever is the winner with the bill that I am holding I make payment to. Simple innit?

I have to advise you all now that your continual letters using red ink or letters headed “final demand” or correspondence with the words “notification of disconnection” won’t in future even be put into my bucket for my consideration. So there.

Comrade brown dangles a carrot to the world Nation

Comrade Brown may agree to step down as Prime Minister before the next General Election to avoid a humiliating defeat by David Cameron, according to Labour sources. As reports the daily fail.

The possibility of Mr Brown quitting to give a new leader the chance of reviving the party’s fortunes was disclosed after he talked openly for the first time of ‘walking away’ from the job and spending more time with his family.

Our much beloved and worshipped highly esteemed UNelected prime Minister is quoted as saying," ‘To be honest, you could walk away from all of this tomorrow,’ he said in an interview published on Saturday. ‘I’m not interested in what accompanies being in power.’


Well – go on then, Gordy – GO! - or is it just another one of your daily lies?

I betcha you can’t be a man for once in your measly life and prove that you are actually telling us all the truth.

Go now! Please don’t forget to collect your coat on your way out.





…bye bye.

Wink wink, nudge nudge (and a few silly handshakes)

I am reading with disgust that the police are to investigate four MP's for expenses fraud. Only four? The MPs could be charged with fraud, theft or misconduct in a public office.

The maximum sentence under both the Serious Fraud Act 2006 and the Theft Act 1968 is ten years. Misconduct in public office carries a maximum life sentence.

Officers believe there is only a realistic chance of prosecution in cases where it can be proved that individuals misled Parliament’s fees office.

Hahahaha! I see loads of paintcans coloured 'whitewash' being ordered at the taxpayers expense. ALL MP's (irrespective of the party that they represent should be investigated) I include telfon Tony and his accidental shredding of a few years of expenses claims but I can see months of investigations which will take a huge amount of taxpayers money eventually will come up with the report "We have insufficient evidence to take forward any case we have investigated to the courts."

The results of the investigation will be all to do with backhanders, knighthoods and a lot of silly mason handshakes I think.

A Stealth Tax at its very bloody worst

I see our esteemed unelected Prime Minister has now decreed that all homes in his kingdom who own a telephone will be faced with an additional charge of £6 to pay for the installation of super-dooper-fast broadband to benefit all the computer owning serfs within his domain.

Very nice, Comrade! I already pay extra for this fast facility and am lucky if I get 2Mbps even if I do live half a mile away from my local exchange. The problem is that it is (quote) not cost effective to remove telegraph poles and overhead phone wires and bury them in the main road (unquote) so I am expected to pay additionally to what I already pay extra for a fast broadband speed that BT tell me that I have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever receiving?

So, on to my neighbour. Dear old bird that is in her early nineties and has a telephone and is shit scared of computers. Her telephone is her access to her son who lives in another County and to his wife and her Grandchildren. Her access is also to her son living in Australia. One she never sees but the other brings his family to stay on holiday twice a year and every other day they take turns to telephone each other.

Is she a wealthy retired bint? No. She ekes out her pension and a telephone is a luxury (the rental and call charges have already increased) and now she asks me, with tears in her eyes, whether she is expected to buy a computer as she is going to be charged for using one. How do I explain to her? How do I explain to myself that the only two areas that will make profits will be the individual ISP’s and the Government? How do I explain to myself that already paying high broadband charges and knowing my speed will never increase I am being forced to pay even more for no benefit to me whatsoever?

How can I answer that I fear this is another Government work round that they WILL access your details and they WILL note your name and address and your blood group and when you last had a shit etc., and charge you £6 for doing so?

There is an excellent comment from a reader of the Daily Express who names him/herself as Complete Nonsence who comments:-

"The phone line tax will raise £150M a year. To install fibre to every home will cost at least £15Bn so it will take 100 years of this tax to raise the money (more in fact because of inflation). This says to me that the phone line tax is simply a window dressing and will not achieve anything other than making moving to cable more attractive to those who can.
The proposed minimum of 2Mbps would in fact be adequate for surfing and limited video streaming if in fact it ever got delivered but although peak speeds may approach that there is no way in the world that ISPs could support every user actually using 2Mbps at peak times because te price BTw charge for their bandwidth would make this prohibitively expensive.
I'd be very interested to hear an untutored reply from Brown on why he regards broadband access to be as important as electricity, gas, and water. He is just parroting some rubbish which has been fed to him by a vested interest and hopes saying it makes him appear up-to-date when in fact the odds are that he would struggle to turn on a PC himself"

The writer is quite correct in his/her views and facts regarding the installation taking 100 years or more to achieve, so does Comrade Brown intend depositing the annual £6 received from every household who has a telephone and is charged six quid into a high interest deposit account in say, an Icelandic Bank? Because I'll be long dead before I get beyond any installation for the promised between 8-10Mbps speed that I already pay for and never get, let alone a further charge of £6 to pay for absolutely nothing really.

Meanwhile, how can I dry my elderly neighbour’s tears of worry that an additional cost she's heard about she knows means she will have to give up her telephone (call charges are less than the rental) and will cut her off from her family or placate the elderly people that I know who will never own a computer and get them to understand that they have to pay for something they will never purchase or enjoy that very, very few inhabitants of the UK will actually ever benefit from?

Also, what the f*** are the Liberals and Tories going to do about this? next year is the opportunity to finally rid ourselves of this unelected one eyed self assumed idol and his appointed cabinet comprising of members never voted for or elected by the public.....its a vote winner so what are the Tories and the Liberals actually doing (apart from keeping strangely silent)

Enjoy a Day on the Beach With Your Dog While You Still Can

(reports the kennel club)

Are you a member of one of the 15 million households in the UK with a pet dog? Do you enjoy walking your dog on the beach – whether you are lucky enough to live nearby or like to holiday along some of England’s 4,400 km of coastline?

If so, you may have already realised that on some beaches your dog is not as welcome as you.

This is because many local authorities have introduced dog control orders under the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005, which allow them to restrict dogs’ access to beaches or ban them altogether.

Caroline Kisko, Kennel Club Communications Director, said: “With over 4,000 km of coastline England is the perfect place to enjoy a stroll along the beach with your dog. Unfortunately dog owners are at serious risk of losing access to vast stretches of the coastline because of the increasing number of dog control orders being used to ban them from or restrict their access to England’s beaches. So long as dog owners behave responsibly there should be no reason not to allow them on the English coastal route. There are so many benefits of dog ownership in terms of human health – from the physical benefits of regular walking to the positive effect of a dog’s companionship on its owner’s mental health. With so many encroachments on access to public space these benefits could be lost if dog ownership becomes less and less viable due to the lack of areas in which dogs can be walked.”

.........and don't I know it! Raki can no longer enjoy a run or a swim, although I am one of the numerous responsible local dog owners who always cleans up after their dog.

The cause for complaints in this area is from holiday makers who arrive here with their retinue of children and dogs who don't even bother to clean up after their pets but hate to sit on our beaches with their children and their pets when they can see/smell dog mess on the beaches that the holiday makers dogs have caused in areas where we locals walk and always clean up after our dogs, and unfortunately are paying the highest water rates in England just to keep the beaches clean for their bloody family and their pets holidays .........

How do I explain to my dog that after nine years and when she is hot and wants to run the length of a beach and go for a swim that she can't do so any longer? North Devon is no longer dog friendly, so forget all the adverts for the dog friendly places to stay - just choose go to Cornwall instead with its beaches that still are thankfully 'dog friendly'. Take a load of bags and clean up after your dog or the residents will suffer the same consequences as their neighbours in Devon have done.

Such joy. A co-op divvy

I received a letter and voucher from the Co-Op this morning proudly stating that they were paying double dividend to the shareholders, namely moi and attaching a voucher for the value of my "share".

Now, it just so happens that on any Thursday I know only too well that my local Co-Op has stocked shelves marked with reductions for foodylode that has to be sold or eaten on that specific date. So, I trotted off and went shopping and bought a huge chicken (diet reminds me that I still am eating sodding chicken) plus a joint of beef and a leg of lamb and some frying steak as well as emergency tims of veg – sort of all for free as I used my voucher to pay for it all.

Came home and started to cook the whole bally lot, then carve it up and put the slices into containers and shove them all into my freezer. Debating getting orgasmic over continuing my enforced chicken diet or to get risque by having beef or lamb with salad instead for the next ten days. Or maybe some grilled steak and a side salad? Or maybe even simply fish and chips covered with grease and crispy batter and collected from my local chippy, or cooking a casserole with suet dumplings or ordering a Chinese meal (MUST have my monosodium glutamate and half a pound of salt) or munch my chops through a Big Mac or enjoy a pie and a pint from my local pub or opting for something/anything that does not consist of a salad base.

If anyone lives local to me then do pop in as I seem to have enough food to feed a veritable army right now.

Hello Fred* go right ahead and shove it in!

(*name changed to protect my physiotherapists identity)

Oooh, back from acupuncture and simply raring to go. Full of energy and with a much reduced ache. I think the last two treatments have seen a really chronic pain - achy/pain - pain/pain reduce by 35% and today by another 35%. I’ve got the equivalent of a dull nagging ache now which is so much easier to live with. Besides, I've stopped yelping out loud in public and terrifying strangers.

Possibly there are some aspects of acupuncture that are purely physiological, but I know it does work and it certainly works well for me. I swear blind that the ends of these needles are earthing the jangling nerves and I probably am a conduit to pretty lightening bolts bouncing between them all. The diagram shows the location of the needles I am having shoved in (excepting I have none on my arms or hands) but works it really does and its back again for another session in eight days time.

Thank heavens for the NHS as I would never have been able to have afforded this if I had to pay for it out of my job seekers allowance.

My postage stamp sized garden

Just sharing a few pics of the huge measly 12' x 14' garden of mine. Surprisingly, there's still room for Raki and I to sit out there and there's still room for a rotary washing line.

I can’t win next year so I’ll change the rules

The three Reform Acts, of 1832, 1867, and 1884, all extended voting rights to previously disfranchised male citizens. Prior to the reform acts only land owners qualified to vote. Women over 30 years were able to vote from 1918 and women over 21 were able to vote from 1928.

For centuries the voting system has been to receive a list of candidates and the political party that they represent, and the public simply put a cross in the box against the name of the candidate that they wish to elect.

It is very worrying to see reports in the papers (the daily fail has a nice article concerning this) that our esteemed UNelected prime Minister, Comrade Brown, knowing full well that his labour party haven't a hope of ever winning the next general election, is seriously considering changing the rules simply to ensure that the labour party continue to hold seats in Parliament.

His proposals are to replace the voting system as we know it with "proportional representation" by creating another reform act. This will be discussed by his senior labour ministers, most of who (keen to keep their snouts in the trough) are strangely all in favour of his idea! I can see the Labour party rushing this new bill through just in time before the next elections which is reeking of scam.

Meanwhile, our erstwhile dictator who is desperate to keep his job fills his cabinet with disgraced people who he gives peerages to and some of them (Mandy) have not even been voted by the public to become a MP let alone a cabinet minister. Easy to change a perfectly tried and trusted reform act just to ensure that labour keep their seats in Parliament simply by creating a new rule.

This Country really is currently ruled by a dictatorship. How long before this twerp changes the rules yet again to create a law that a Prime Minister currently in office remains in that role for life?

Weighing up the problem

I’ve lost 6 pounds from my carcass in a week! Yay!

It’s been so easy to achieve (even if I am sick of salads) because at least I vary what I chuck into the shredded lettuce, and often swapping lettuce for my home grown spinach but salad and fish, salad and chicken (skin removed, alas) with cold new potatoes and no salad cream has been the theme for the past seven days. Mind you, if I eat much more salad I'll have to have my front incisors trimmed.

Black tea and coffee to drink which I find enjoyable providing I have brewed up some fresh coffee and drink Earl Grey tea, no cheeses, no yogurts, no biscuits or cakes, no bread, no meats and certainly no crisps or chocolate biscuits.

One rice cake for breakfast and another for lunch, with my one main meal eaten about 4pm which is early but leaves loads of time for it to digest, and twenty two chews to the swallow……tried chewing lettuce twenty two times? No alcohol, no meats, no fried food and no delightful dumplings but its been worth it and my bathroom scales have stopped groaning every time I step on them.

The problem with a bad back is that it limits my usual walking and in consequence I’m piling on the tonnage, so if I get my weight down it will help my back which means I’ll find it easier to walk and exercise.

I’m not alone in dieting it seems having read Liz’s blog and her ‘The flesh is weak’ post. Chocolate and coconut biscuits???? Shame on you, Liz! Please feel very ashamed. I can see you nodding in agreement as you shovel more biscuits into your mouth.

It doesn’t help reading Sicily scene’s blog either, well looking at the photos of all the foodylode she shares with us. I really do hate that woman at times! This Mediterranean food is missing some vital additives......suet dumplings, fried bacon and egg sandwiches and sticky toffee puddings.

I need a massage to get rid of this dieting stress but Sally is a bit too far away which is a great shame. Besides, she is goofing off to Lima in a few days time to meet up with her other half so she has 'other things on her mind' - heh

My bloggers are no help whatsoever so I have resigned myself to suffering alone.

The European Elections

"Don't worry dear, it's only twelve pricks"

The Guardian wrote an article on 24th May this year advising that backache sufferers will receive spinal manipulation or acupuncture on the NHS as a result of official guidance being issued this week on how to treat the debilitating condition.

Although most people have private acupuncture treatment, it is available in some areas through the NHS. Although the availability is currently very limited, approximately one million people have acupuncture treatment through the NHS each year.

I was delighted yesterday that my physiotherapist who I see at my local hospital put me through half an hour of contortionist tricks and then gave me acupuncture. I spent 20 minutes of total bliss dozing on the couch with 12 needles in the area of the small of my back, my thighs, calves and ankles....bliss, perfect bliss.

The effects after treatment were immediate and today there still seems to be a 25% improvement so I am trying not to whiz round like a banshee but to take things steady.

Next week I receive further acupuncture so at long last I think this back pain may be on its way out. After 4 months of misery I am truly sick of suffering.

Deliberate? - probably not!

AS voters become more and more disillusioned by politicians, a North Devon polling station could have it summed up.

Residents of Northam who turned out to vote at Windmill Lane found their polling station sign incongruously placed above a dog poo bin.

The Journal reader who sent in the picture said he "couldn't resist" and always knew he was right about politics.

How to vote today

Election results will be so interesting!

Is Britain's love affair with strawberries over?

Questions the Daily Fail today which goes on to mention:-

"New figures show that sales of strawberries are down sharply. The volume of sales in the 12 months to April 12 was down by an alarming 9.2per cent, according to retail analysts TNS. While the value of sales was also down significantly - 3per cent - to £390 million for the same period.

It may appear unthinkable, but the figures suggest the British love affair with strawberries and cream, which has endured for 500 years, is waning.”

Nah! The love affair that we have with strawberries has not really waned – its simply because most are imported and are all bloody tastless and very expensive to buy. What has happened to the farms that displayed wonky painted notices ‘Pick your Own’ (at really cheap prices) where you could delight in crawling up rows and rows of strawberry plants whose red juicy fruits showed above straw and chuck your pickings into a basket that was weighed at the exit? Whose staff always ignored your buldging cheeks and your strangely painted red dye that reached to your nose, down your chin and over both cheeks, that you hoped they would consider to be your smeared lipstick?

What happened to the seasonal strawberries, grown in fields (and not undercover all year round) what happened to the most flavoursome ‘Cambridge favourite’ ? I guess the poor old strawberry is suffering from cheaper varieties imported from europe and USA and we are expected to pay £1.00 -£2.99 for this flavourless soft mush housed in a huge plastic container and containing at least one mouldy one……..

So, the above photo is the start of my first crop of Cambridge Favourites whose 16 plants are housed in a big pottery container. I never lost my love affair with Strawberries and I never will.

Oh my, an Editorial comment seen today

The daily tabloids tend to be either right wing or left wing in their views and what they print. Therefore it was so interesting to read the editorial comment in the Guardian concerning our esteemed unelected prime twat, Comrade Brown.

A very nice hatchet job I must say, BUT The Guardian is renowned to favour the Labour Party (one of Bliar’s favourite papers too) and the comment is long but so worth reading and the link is HERE.

It is now nationally recognised that this self thought Messiah has no intention of standing down or calling an early election – despite members of all parties saying that he should, public opinion polls demanding that he should – and all tabloids now critisising his attitude and ability to do the job. This is the last chance to actually make your views count and that is, for once, going to the polling station and voting for an alternative.

This is one time that sitting back and watching others vote and then moaning about things would be silly. It is one time your vote will really count. It’s a hell of an important day, this Thursday is.

It's one rare opportunity before the general Elections when the Nation can carry through what they have already been surveyed for or complained bitterly about. One united voice. The nation can finally unite and speak out on one specific day this week by making their disgust 'legal' and 'noticed' via the ballot box.

Now, everyone has their own choice of what party they follow and I am not going to urge anyone to vote for any particular party – all I say is please do go to the polls and vote this Thursday because for the majority who are so sick of our beloved Comrade we can, with our pretty X on the box, make our opinions known and felt and acknowledged in a manner guaranteed to get results.

Licence to Chill

An ice cream company created the purple ‘licence to chill’ smoothie after asking more than 1,000 women which male celebrity they would like to see on the end of a stick.

Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies, who produced the limited edition replica lollies, said artists ‘worked tirelessly’ to recreate a sculpture of 41-year-old Craig fondling his willy in the scene where he emerges from the sea in Casino Royale. The Daniel Craig smoothie lollies are blueberry, pomegranate and cranberry flavoured and under 100 calories each.

They are to be distributed during the first National Ice Cream Week which starts today and ends on June 7.

(The Daily Fail)

Bladder problems?

Visit Bideford's new business!

Snouts in troughs - the lowest of the low

Frank Cook, a Labour backbencher, sought reimbursement on his office expenses after the memorial service in his constituency town of Stockton-on-Tees. His expenses to claim for a £5 donation he made during a church service to commemorate the Battle of Britain. He now claims that this was “a mistake” as reports the Daily Mail.

Not a lot I can say about him apart from his previous unusual jobs including: gravedigger, Butlins Redcoat (holiday camp entertainer) and special needs teacher. He probably did national service so of all people he should have empathy and feel the need to want to pay out of his pocket for any donation towards the second world war.

Oh how many reports of "sorry" or "it was a mistake" do you think the public are going to accept from these greedy MP gits?

James Gray (who is a Tory) tried to use taxpayers' money to cover the cost of three Remembrance Day wreaths, according to the News of the World. Gray said he was £60 out of pocket after buying three £20 poppy tributes to lay at Remembrance services. "When the Fees Office rejected the claims" he said, it was "unfair as the PM's office paid for wreaths at the Cenotaph"

(and your point being, Mr Gray?)

On 20th May you stated to the press, and I quote, “We are all acutely aware of the anger which members of the public feel about recent scandals over MPs’ allowances,” you were quoted to have commented. “There have been two or three stories in the last two weeks about me, although I think that they are all easily answered.”

...........Do these snouts in troughs greedy bastards actually pay for anything on their high enough salary to sufficiently cover spending out of their own wages a few quid for a wreath or for a donation to to honour the dead?

C'mon Liz, please do get your finger out!

In the 1970's The Queen plainly told PM Heath to make way for Mr Wilson. In the past six British sovereigns were deselected and deposed because they did not protect the people's laws and liberties.

The Sovereign is supposed to provide an important balance to the power of Parliament. This has been forgotten because for many years it was Parliament that has attempting to check the power of the Sovereign, and now quite recently they have signed away most of her oath that she took at her coronation replacing her with the EU numerous daily laws that it creates for this Country, as well as giving us a Prime Minister who the public were not allowed to vote for or accept, who has systematically cocked up everything that he has touched since he took over on 27th June, 2007.

'The Queen in Parliament under God' to give a full name, which is sovereign in the UK, not just the Queen and not just the combination of Lords and Commons.

So when did the queen abdicate her responsibility as the head of this nation?? and where is it published to inform her subjects of this change to our constitution? If this is the case, is the act of swearing allegiance to the Queen by our armed service personnel, or our police, is just a big joke and being used as a cover up by this current crap government and its UNelected Prime Minister as a further cover up to yet another act of treachery.

I find this intolerable. If this is the case, that Parliament, headed by Gordon brown, is the sovereign so there is no further requirement for a monarch which is unacceptable to the majority of people in the UK and rightly so in my eyes. So when the majority of us know that the Queen is very, very knowledgeable of her subjects concerns (she reads the papers!) currently regarding our unelected Prime Minister and (a) him signing away her rights as head of the commonwealth and (b) him not being voted in by us and (c) and given the current unrest of her people which she is well aware of regarding our unelected PM together with his law breaking money grabbing sleazy government and cabinet and is not stepping in to do anything it reallty pisses the public right off. Surely, these topics should cause her to get her arse in gear and pull rank and simply demand that he holds a general election by the end of July this year, because he certainly won’t. Someone has to speak on behalf of this nation and who better than HM who is well aware of the public disquiet but seems to currently have her head in the sand or is far too busy walking her corgi's to be our mouthpiece and uphold the oath that she made.

By allowing the EU to create our laws and us having no alternative but to accept a new Prime Minister that we did not elect in the first place then surely it is treason to not listen to the peoples concerns that she swore an oath to look after? Allowing the EU to take over is in contravention of the Queen's coronation oath which all parliamentarians have to swear to uphold before they can take their seats in both houses. By this it can be seen that Parliament has unlawfully usurped the people's sovereignty. There is no constitutional process that could allow this. Parliament by its own confession is now an unlawful assembly. One way or another the Queen has to be complicit in this treason, it makes no difference whether she simply gave it her tacit consent or it was by her idea and origination, there can be no argument now- the Queen has abdicated her sworn, lawful and constitutional role as Monarch of this nation.

There is much unrest regarding Gordon Brown and the party he is supposed to represent and the damage they continue to inflict on this nation. Brown will cling on and finally leave number 10 at the very last moment, leaving his teeth and claw marks on the door frame as he is dragged out. The people are very restless and very unhappy so it is high time that HM obeyed the oath that she proudly gave in 1953 promising to look after her realm (so to speak) and listen to her people and insist that Comrade Brown holds a general election within weeks.

How people will eventually vote at a general election is up to them. But as head of this nation she is simply not listening to us is she? What does she need to get her arse into gear? Rioting (it may happen) civil war (it may happen) and as Brown continues to refuse to listen or acknowledge the people of this land and their wishes and the polls taken since 2007 then it needs someone to MAKE HIM – and WE CAN'T - so time to obey your oath Liz, and simply look after us (your serfs who you rule over? us - the general public) and insist that this nation is allowed to vote asap and choose who we want to represent us and very bloody quick.

You follow your oath when it comes to family and any member marrying a catholic has to relinquish their right to the throne (irrespective of what rung of the ladder that they are on) so right now how about taking as much care and consideration for your people, or was your oath that you took 56 years ago just a meaningless bit of drivel?

(any comments please send to me care of the Tower of London as I’ll probably be locked up in there whilst awaiting charges of high treason)

Cat's hate water, right?

Errr - wrong!

Meanwhile, at Whitehall………

The shutters remain closed at the Number 10 Dachau whilst a hive of activity takes place within as the damage limitation exercises probably begin.

Comrade Brown is probably still in his self styled denial and reading the daily tabloids with his good eye shut, clinging on for dear life to a job that nobody voted for him to have in the first place.

The Times makes for interesting reading with results of a survey completed regarding how the electorate will vote next week in the European Elections.

“The expenses scandal has had a devastating impact on Labour and Gordon Brown, a Populus poll for The Times finds today.
Labour’s overall position has slid to 21 per cent; it’s lowest in polling history. When asked how they would vote in next week’s European election, those polled have put Labour in third place behind UKIP and the Tories, for the first time.
All the minority parties, including the Greens and the British National Party, have made striking advances in the past three weeks as the row over MPs’ allowances has engulfed all the main parties.
But it is Labour and Mr Brown who appear to have taken the biggest hit over the expenses scandal, with 62 per cent of those polled citing the Prime Minister as the most damaged, compared with 5 per cent citing David Cameron.”

Hahaha! Labour at its lowest in polling history! They may, just may have had a chance if the party had booted him out long ago. But now, the Labour oiks all know that their own positions as MP’s are untenable and they are all living on very borrowed time. They all deserve to lose their seats because apart from anything else they have ignored the concerns of the electorate that they are supposed to be representing.

Bad move Comrade to have promised a referendum on the EU then broken that promise. Bad move Comrade to have walked into a job that the public didn’t vote you to do and continue to blatantly ignore them. Right now ANY party is better than Labour as next weeks elections will show.

EU to replace watts with continental 'lumens'

Was a report in the Daily Fail last week.

The change will be introduced from September next year. The EU claims it will enable people to make more accurate choices in lighting - despite critics arguing it will cause widescale confusion.

When the changes take place bulbs will appear with the symbol Lm for Lumens instead of W for Watt. A 60W bulb, for example, will be given the label 800 Lm. (eh? yer wot??)

The type of bulb also affects the number of lumens per watt output, with normal bulbs creating 12-13 lumens per watt and halogen lightbulbs creating around 40 lumens per watt. (of course we ALL knew that!)

The move followed a Government decision to sign up to EU regulations last year, stating that traditional bulbs should be replaced with greener, low-energy alternatives. An 11W new-style bulb, for example, is the equivalent of an old 60W bulb. after more than a century. But the new bulbs have been linked to health problems including skin rashes, migraine and epilepsy. There are also safety concerns because of their mercury content, which makes them difficult and dangerous to dispose of.

..........Can’t the meddling bloody EU simply just leave things alone?

Computer help - a worldwide site

I think it’s high time that I mentioned CIT (the abbreviation stands for Computer Interested Types) a forum that successfully survived its very successful MSN originally based forum together with its unfortunate subsequent MSN culling of all forums, and arose to start again as a brand new spanking one which is now housed elsewhere.

CIT has members who give coverage of the entire planet and that is very useful in itself for members that happen to be living all over the planet! It is also a forum where you can relax and ask any question (even if you think it’s a daft one) and you are not going to be laughed at or blinded with science from any answer that you know you will be guaranteed to receive.

Not only do they gauge your knowledge but they will answer to suit each individuals level of understanding and they will also work with you and follow things through until your problem is finally resolved to your and their satisfaction.

Yes, when you have been a member for a little longer and your name has got to be known and recognised they may gently chide you when you have committed a grievous sin that they knew you should never ever have committed (I speak from personal experience, my bad) BUT they will all dive in and work with you to solve your problem. Not only that, but they are apt to do a follow up a few weeks later just to check that the problem really has been resolved.

So, your computer problem you ask them about immediately becomes their problem too and they don’t sleep well until they know they have helped sort things out. Their charges? simply a "thank you" and other members who read and follow the particular post in question learn by it and knows when an answer is resolved that the suggestions made to resolve the issue worked and both the helpers and the person to ask the question are all 'right happy little bunnies'.

Now – taking a look at CIT the earlier link takes you to the general PC help, but if you go back to “home” you’ll soon find so much more on that site. It’s like walking into a sweetshop and seeing all your favourite sweets in glass jars. CIT really have a LOT to offer!

The general page covers general PC help, Linux, useful utilities, computer news but if you browse deeper you’ll see a lot more that's available there. Its nice to read back on questions and answers and you can learn a lot from this and store it away in your mind just in case you ever need it yourself or can read tips that you may like to put into immediate effect on your own computer…..its a veritable library of excellent informative items together with a team of computer experts to be able to refer to or ask any question day or night, 24/7.

So – it’s well worth a visit and its well worth joining because you never know! There may be a time when you want advice or help and the CIT members include technicians, those who build computers, those who know Linux, and those who are self taught – whose homes and spare hours cover the whole planet. Best of all – it’s free membership!


So, my appraisal of CIT I leave for the WWW bloggers' own discernment. Have a look for yourselves and maybe simply bookmark the link because you never know when you may be glad of their help. Meanwhile, I really do NOT want to see replies giving me links to other alternative places. If I do see replies like this I will delete them - all I ask is if anyone wants to comment that they reply "joined" or "saved in case of emergency" and I'd be so happy to read that. No, I am not an IT whizz trechie expert who responds to questions, I am just a member and I am not prepared to tell anyone my membership name on CIT.

Sunday tea

Wholemeal bread cooking in the oven as I type and lookee what I have for my tea tonight!

Not bad for £3 and it came in on the early morning trawler and ended up at the local market yesterday so I fully intend pigging out on it this evening. There's crap all on TV so I may as well occupy my tiny mind with a hammer and nutcrackers, as is my want.

I think I'll spend this evening burping quite happily to myself whilst watching repeats I've taped of NCIS, so sod the ironing.

The strange disappearance of the baby lettuce

I think I’ve solved the problem. It’s a squirrel!

I was sitting at the XP which is by the rear lounge window and up popped a squirrel onto my window box (left of the bottom photo) and we gave each other a fright and both sort of screamed at each other. The squirrel turned tail (it was a he btw) and leapt onto the mini greenhouse, up along the ten foot high wall, over the garage roof and shot off in the direction of the playing area which, as the crow flies, is about 300 yards from me.

I’ve seen squirrels over there quite often as they tend run from tree to tree but quite what brought him into my garden I don’t have a clue (apart from young lettuce) it’s probably the wild bird seed and nuts I chuck onto the garage roof.

Anyhow, as he leapt up onto the side of the window box (left of pic) I would guess that he launched his arse from the salad box which is beneath – after eating my bloody lettuce – because all I had left were stalks.

Seems I may have another mouth to feed so I'll buy some food for him and add that to the wild bird food and peanuts that I put on the garage roof.

Warning! this post contains graphic images

Can I please borrow any bloggers police kit to enable me to make a plaster cast of footprints found at the scene of the crime together with an outside mould to contain the plaster and also instructions as to how to use/cook it?

I refer your kind attention to the attached photos named exhibit A, B and C - which clearly show the murder scene and the remains of three teenage lettuce (approximate age of 19 weeks) together with two adjacent unknown footprints.






<---- exhibit A, the location where the crime was committed














<------exhibit B, the footprints left at the crime scene together with skeletal remains








<----exhibit C, temporary McDougalls fine flour cast showing the 1/2" deep footprints

No snail/slug tracks were found to be evident at the scene of the crime and there are unfortunately no witnesses. I doubt if fingerprints were left, certainly dusting with a liberal amount of Johnson’s baby talc did not find any.

The vandalism occurred sometime during the hours of darkness between Friday 22nd May and Saturday 23rd May.

The outside web cam was unfortunately not working at that time when these wilful murders took place. The lettuces were not carrying vast sums of money or drugs or tomorite and I am unaware that there is currently any gang warfare happening between the deceased,and its neighbouring fuscia or the tomato plants (who are known to be very active in this location at this present time) I am also unaware of any terrorist hobbit activity nearby or taking place on this property. The garlic and carnations I consider to both be hostile witnesses. The deceased’s near neighbours (Mr Spring Onion and Mrs Radish) have both refused to comment but have both given me an alibi that I am happy to accept. (radish was sleeping with spring onion at the time the crime was committed, as witnessed and filmed by Mr Courgette, whose dirty movie film of them is available on YouTube)

I am therefore now totally reliant on taking a mould of the footprints that were left at the crime scene to submit direct to a blogger/crime sleuth by special post, so with this in mind I really do need some personal help and guidance from one of you - plus to borrow that footprint spare kit that I know one of you is sure to carry in their knicker pocket as well as cadging some "do not cross-crime scene" tape at the same time, together with two nice biro's and a few post it notepads while you are at it.

I also need to receive urgent advice from someone as to whether discharging an illegal firearm in a rented house back yard is considered to be illegal and from who I could borrow a sawn off shotgun and pellets from.

Who can solve this dastardly crime? I'll be buggered if I know who to blame.

The petition!

Its interesting to see that the petition calling upon our esteemed, unelelected Prime Minister is gathering momentum and currently has 62,645 votes - the figure increasing by the hour.

But will he listen? - Nah! Will he ever listen? – Nah!

It’s a small wonder that the other parties have not used this as part of their campaigns but they may well do so when the figure reaches a million – and then the news may make for a very interesting read and so will the televised parlimentary debates.

Meanwhile, there’s one aspect that I do actually sympathise with Comrade Brown about and that concerns a nickname for him as ‘Cyclops’ – that really is taking unfair advantage on his blindness in one eye.

However, I can’t excuse his Rhinoceros umpteen layers of outer skin, his increasing ignorance as to public opinion and his wilful refusal to call a general election and give voters the opportunity to choose which party they want.

After all, if you have a PM who shows he does not listen to the people he is supposed to represent who got his job without being voted in and constantly promises then retracts his promises I really don’t have any patience for him, BUT to call him Cyclops is really unfair.

Now, that’s as much sympathy as I can dredge up. The thing is as he has only one eye (well, sight in one eye) so it brings me to another dumpling thought/saying of mine - Confucius he say Devonshire Dumpling she say:-

If you spend your life with one eye on yesterday and the other on tomorrow then all you will achieve is to be cross eyed about today.

Unfortunately, I am not sure quite in which direction Comrade Brown's one eye is actually looking............

Ok, I am going to upset some staunch loyal labourites but it should be remembered that my blog reflects my own views and is not geared as a political blog neither will it ever become one. If anyone wants to comment then please do consider this fact or I shall be busy deleting posts left right and centre (and I do mean political!)

Olympic stadium

If anyone is interested in viewing how the taxpayers white elephant Olympic Stadium is progressing the link is here.

Why on earth camvista don't use a zoom setting I don't know, but what you see is what you'll always see.

It's always nice to keep a check on how this bankrupt Country is spending millions of pounds over budget (via the taxpayer) and where the foreign labour workforce (instead of the majority of unemployed british workmen) are being employed isn't it? It looks a bit like a huge boil on the end of someone's nose and I do hope the outside receives a makeover.

Whoo-hoo! Bank Holiday weekend, yay

It’s a lovely sunny weekend too, unless you live “up norf” where you are likely to get cloud and rain (snicker)

Down in dere ol deb’n there’s an influx of grockles with their caravans and their attitude that leaves a lot to be desired. Meanwhile the locals all head to spots that only we know. This weekend also coincides with the annual potwalloping event at Westward Ho! More about it can be found here.

What will the dumpling be doing? Wading through piles of bloody ironing that has mounted up because of my bad back which I now have to do as I really don’t have anything to wear until I iron something. Oh such joy

The longest day of the year

Yes, I know its not the Summer Solstice yet and I know its not mid June either but today is certainly going to be the longest day, well here at this mud shack its going to be.

I switched off the bedside light at 11pm and had a lovely sleep, waking to feel really refreshed. Woke up and got washed and dressed and came downstairs to brew that first delightful mug of tea and I did think that it was a dark this morning so it must be raining. Pulling back the curtains it was totally dark outside and only then did I decide to look at the clock which displayed the time at 1.15am!

Total confusion started as I checked another clock and then put the TV on just to see what day it was (thinking that I had slept 24 hours) which I hadn’t so I’ve stayed up as I was not in the slightest bit tired. Later on today will be another story as I am going to probably be feeling like sh*t. I think I’m back in my insomnia mode again.

“No pain, no gain” …….doh!

I could swing for my hospital physiotherapist, I really could.

He puts me through the mill with “bend down touch your toes, lean back, twist your hips lean sideways"…..blech. I wonder whether this is some sort of new age type of dance that he’s trying to teach me.

He is always is so pleased when I yelp or whine very loudly and so he asks “does it hurt?” well, of course it ruddy well hurts! This is why you are treating me, you twerp.

Then I have to lie on the couch while he puts both thumbs down on my spine and presses down hard with his thumbs on the offending vertebrae and disc, and he asks “does that hurt?” of course it ruddy well hurts! It would hurt any petite person when they have a 12 stone guy doing thumb press-ups with his full body weight rammed into their spine, wouldn't it? (Come to think about it, it does nothing for my tits either as they get flattened something horrible into the plastic surgical bed)

I ask him through clenched teeth if he could just massage by back using a bit of ‘oomph’ and he cheerily tells me he that he is a 'physiotherapist and not a masseuse' while he gleefully continues to attempt to turn me into either a contortionist or to break my spine in three equal places all the time muttering “does that hurt? Ah! No pain, no gain!”

I look forward to seeing him again on 4th June.............can anyone please lend me a gun?

Snouts in the trough - they are all as bad as each other

Does your MP have their snout in the trough and is claiming expenses that defy any reasonable explanation? The details below show what your MP has claimed for expenses and its very easy to follow it through to find a breakdown of these additional costs.


HoCallowances0708


I am aware of purchasing porno films for one twats husband, and paying for anothers house while he lives with Mummy and Daddy or another twat keeping his garden clean while we can all enjoy buying bathplugs and god knows what else - but I am particularly interested in Harry Cohen's caravan right now as he claimed more than £300,000 for a second home. Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I have a part share in that caravan, do I not?

I would like it moved to West Sussex Mr Cohen, as I fully intend to holiday in it during last week June/first week July. Then I intend having a share in a certain bath plug which I'll insist on part ownership just at the time when the current owner decides to have a bath.

As to Ruffley, how was he able to spend a measly £219 on expenses for a bloody duvet for chrissakes? - would this be to fit an extra large king sized bed? The duvet being stuffed with the softest of down feathers which were hand plucked from the warm breasts of 100 sacred eiderdown ducks precisely at midnight by six sacred scantily clad virgins who were illuminated by the waning light of a spring equinox moon?

I own a proportion of that bloody duvet David, so I'll have that plonked in my holiday caravan - thanks.

Almost twenty quid for one pillowcase? Was it spun from the finest of silk gathered from 1000 silkworms that was collected by the poor peasants in the remote regions of China and by the light of the spring equinox moon who the scantily clad virgins collected it from? and a thousand quid for a bedstead? Did it have gold plated fittings added for manacles? You are seriously taking the piss out of the tax payer are you not Ruffley? I bet you are sleeping comfy though! I bet your constituents in Bury St Edmunds are really happy with you right now.

I'm still steaming about THAT bathplug that a certain bint purchased. I seem to own a bit of that plug too! I now want to use it exactly when she decides to have a soak in her bath - the list goes on and on and all three main parties are at the trough with their snouts firmy snuffling away. Time the opposition were seen to chuck out their greedy pigs and then call the present government into account.

Support your local butcher - yes siree

I am sick, sick, pig sick of the local supermarket never stocking the normal fodder that a lot of shoppers look for. What with the recession and unemployment and trying to make a few pennies stretch to 50p in value it is a prime requisite that they sell smaller portions and variety of meats.

What does the Co-Op do? It takes a measly 1/2 lb mince and makes it the minimum of 1lb mince and promptly adds a sticker on to the packaging saying "healthy label" and in consequence the price has increased threefold.

Suddenly, there's an absence of liver or any offal and the past two months no belly of pork rashers because (a) there's no demand or (b) they can't get it. So they say. Interestingly, all the other supermarkets can! The awful problem is that when I see something unavailable I want it and I crave it.

So, I trotted down to a butcher who has a shop in the local market and I purchased 1lb mince (looked like minced meat and not minced fat) and also 3 lambs hearts and 1/2lb lambs liver as well as 2 belly of pork rashers and 2lb of the meat offcuts for the dog.......the total was £3
Not only that, but the butcher cut and trimmed off all fat before weighing the produce so I bought mostly meat. The belly of pork rashers was plonked onto a butchers table in front of me and with a hovering knife he asked what thickness of rasher I would like. The pork rashers being at least 9" long and almost 1/2" wide. This stuff was so fresh it was almost still warm.

£3 for that little lot! Probably 3 times cheaper than a supermarket (can't price up with the Co-Op as they of course 'can't get it') and Asda or Morrisons would be more expensive and who wants frozen when they can buy fresh and so cheaply anyhow?

I'm back - sorta

The XP has now had yet another fresh reinstall (I was not happy with my original attempt) but I'm still trying to install a lot of programs though I do now have time to spend on my blog and more importantly surfing what my favourite bloggers have had to say.

I'm still a bit limited as to how long I sit at the keyboard because my back is still painful but its so nice to be reading blogs again. I've missed you all!

The Queen tells Comrade Brown that she is “deeply troubled”

(Reports the Daily Fail)

I’m not in the slightest bit surprised. This dour mismanager and unelected dipstick can’t manage to fight his way out of a brown paper bag so its very doubtful if he shows any consideration towards his electorate during his weekly audience with the Queen at Buck House when obviously the MP’s 'bleeding the tax payer expenses' has been raised.

As if this man cares a fig about what The Queen thinks, when he does not give a toss as to what the electorate think, is it not high time that the Queen simply pulled rank and insisted that any MP found fiddling the expenses” or “window dressing their balance sheet” was liable to an automatic vote whereby the public all went back to the polls in their area to decide whether or not their constituent should lose his/her seat?

Also, considering that if any member of the public were daft enough to try and fiddle DHSS or DWP or child benefits they would be hauled to court, and made to repay the amount embezzled and probably face a jail sentence. If an employee fiddled his expenses he would be sacked.

So, why are these MP’s thinking that by saying “sorry” or “I apologise” or “I didn’t realise” means that they get away with their financial fiddles when the consequences (should any of the public get caught) would be a lot more severe? Why should those caught out who refuse to repay not in court and answerable in a Court of Law for their crimes against the public? Why are the public not allowed to go back to the polling station and vote for their choice of new candidate?

oh do bugger off, you silly blogger technicians

Wow, whoever lives in the Pacific Day Time zone thinks/expects that the rest of the inhabitants of this planet all live to their time…..can they not for a moment consider the rest of this planet when they warn us all in advance of an outage that is applicable to us all and not just geared for the easy understanding of the inhabitants that live in this mythical PCT time zone? (For the record the Pacific Time Zone runs down the Pacific Coast of Canada and the United States of America including Seattle WA, San Francisco CA, Los Angeles CA, San Diego CA & Las Vegas NV) how naice! The problem is I that don't live there and neither do the vast majority of us, so there.

I mean, they already told us that it was going to happen on Monday at 2am (PCT) NOW they say it will happen (or happen again) on Wednesday at 2am……doh!

Also, the latest outage warning will happen on (as far as 75% of the world is concerned) on the 5th (could be the 4th or even the 6th depending where you live) will happen in the 13th month. Hmmmmm? Only 12 months in a year but the yanks always do like to work arse over tit (awe,bless) and a 2am notified warning time with a daft calendar date is anybody’s guess as to when IT will actually happen, time wise.

Last time they gave a warning it was going to be on 5th November as far as the UK were concerned, but now we are all warned that it will be happening again but on the 13th month which is totally a new one to me. All my life I have been working to 12 months in a year and my clock set at GMT and a 2AM warning to me is meaningless - its your time you twat, not mine so what would it be at my time, eh? One advantage is that with this 13 months in a year calendar I do seem to be about 4 years younger than the age that I have been giving out all my life, but I'm too old to change my records.

Can’t they even get the bloody date right, let alone the time applicable to all us or at least include a link to a time server so that we can all convert and perhaps actually understand what the heck they are rabbiting on about? Most of us don’t live by this peculiar named "PCT time zone", and most of us write the date first then followed by the month – not the month and then the date – please learn to accept this fact!

Now, GMT is actually registered and universally recognized worldwide as the time everywhere starting at 00.00GMT and the rest of the world use this and base their hours +/- on GMT. Most of this world put a date of the month followed by the month……today is 12 /05 (12th May) and NOT the 5th of the thirteenth month, and we cannot all be expected to all live to a strange area of a big Country with its own peculiar personal time that they called "PCT" and to be expected to reverse a month so it to goes before the date. We could do so at a push but why should we? What the hell is 2.00AM to me - over the pond? What day and time is it to Australia?

So, whoever the techie is who notifies the WWW of outages at a time and on a particular day and month concerning only where they live should either give links to enable the rest of this planet to all convert to our own time and date or these techies should preferably be shot at dawn, the film of which will be available as a free download on YouTube.

Decisions, decisions

It’s a lovely sunny day down in dere ol deb’n and since 6AM the windows and the back door have been open and I am currently ignoring the pile of dirty plates by the kitchen sink that really should have been dealt with as soon as they got dirty. No problem! I still have another 8 clean plates, 5 saucepans, and if the push comes to the shove – I have the dog’s spare food bowls.

Meanwhile the BBB (big black beastie) sits and sulks in its wilful refusal mode to work properly and now is displaying the black screen of death most of the time. Meanwhile, I am still desperately trying to salvage very important things from it before I give it a blood transfusion and a heart transplant.

But, it’s a lovely day down here – the sort of sunshine that picks up every small particle of dust in your lounge and turns it into silver sparkles guaranteed to catch your eye and unfortunately the eyes of any visitors who call. There’s a pile of ironing to be done. I need to be cooking so I can turn a pound of mince into exotic orgasmic culinary delights of a variety of dishes for at least eight people…….but I simply miss the easy ability to follow my fellow bloggers and what they have to say/share with the world and me. I miss turning on BBB and seeing a “Morning, Dumpling” greeting. I miss half of the programs on it (the lappy has only basic programs that I need on it) I miss emails as “business” ones go to Outlook and I don’t have that installed on the lappy and i won't install it.

I also really do apologise to some bloggers who have left comments that I have not answered, especially to Mary (aka an anonymous name but signs as Mary) who is the upside down blogger living in Australia. And also to Angus who tried so hard to help me yesterday but has only encouraged me in my newly found alcoholic habits. I probably turned him to drink too.

A woman's guide to repairing a computer (part one)

Firstly, create a clean working space









remember to clean your keyboard










Secondly, gather your ammunition together





































Thirdly, gather your tool kit together.

.............threatening it with this usually/normally works

...........remember to dust the ports and usb thingies that wires fit into







...........spring clean the innards if you are really feeling brave






Easy! You now have all the necessary equipment to sort out your problem. If all this fails then WHINE VERY LOUDLY and go out shopping for the day, stopping somewhere nice for lunch.

Sledgehammer to crack a nut

I shall be about but not posting very much in the next few days as I am going to have to do a fresh install of the XP.

I don't need this right now as I am desperately trying to save things (can't currently burn anything to disc) and the last thing I want to be doing is spending 12 hours putting everything back and getting the microsoft updates done.

This will take longer to do simply because of my back problem, but I'll use the laptop so I can catch up with mail and blogs.

A XP repair keeping existing settings did not work so it's the dreaded fresh reinstall. Long winded but at least I'll have a clean system.

It’s very hard to contain my excitement really

Did you all know that it's now possible to earn affordible Bachee1or, Master or Docktorate Digrees! Did all you bloggers know that?

It’s the frequent latest filling for my spam sandwiches that I am receiving far too often.

Now, before I begin to wonder whether these awesome “digrees” include English/English or American English or Chinese/English I find that I am also plagued with peculiar offers from wonderful prospective Russian brides who all want to marry me (eh? I'm not gay) or the lonely female who has a webcam and is online and wants to chat to me (why?) Or more excitingly just how I can enlarge my male member (I don’t have any personal dangly bits attached) but if I did and I unfortunately suffered from brewers droop then I could take up a lot of free prescription drugs at very affordable prices starting with Viagra……I’m so totally spoilt for choice so thank heavens for a cute spam filter. I thought the USA was tightening up on spam? I seem to recieve far more from over the pond.

These spammers are wasting their time because I only check my spam folder once a week to make sure that nothing legit has gone there, but I don't open these things.

Just think, if I got a digree I’d know just what I could do, like to start to make cordon bleu spam sandwiches.

Some thoughts for Saturday

1) Save the Whales, collect the whole set.
2) A day without sunshine is like, night.
3) On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4) 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5) 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6) Honk if you love peace and quiet.
7) Remember, half the people you know are below average.
8) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
9) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
10) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11) Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
12) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
13) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
14) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
15) How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
16) If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.
17) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
18) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19) Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Oh, Sod this for a lark

For FFS, not all the inhabitants of this world are on bloody Pacific Time I'll have them know - its no good warning us all that we may all find that we get an outage at 2AM PDT simply because, surprising that it may seem to them, not all the inhabitants of this planet actually happen to reside in or actually even use or need or want to use or have the call to use their prefered choice of Pacific Day Time or want/need to set our watches or our wall clocks or our calendars accordingly as to how seemingly blogger lives and sleeps and works by - with their strange chosen choice of "Pacific Day Time hours" that they kindly forewarn the world about......doh.

Right now I don't give a fart that on 5th November at 2AM I will see an outage because I know full well that they are lying through their teeth yet again......its not going to happen at 2AM my time on 5th November is it? They got the date and time and month wrong for me in the UK didn't they? What time did they really mean for me and all the other Countries?

For the majority of my fellow bloggers throughout this planet who are bloggers can I suggest that you all keep THIS link (which is the world clock) so that when we all keep seeing this type of advance warning message that we can all easily convert to what time the 'real time' is that they are farting on about that is seldom applicable to where the vast majority of us all happen to live (or even giving the correct day of the week that they are talking about, and the right time and the month and I respectfully refer their attention to those upside down inhabitants of some Countries - like Australia and New Zealand - who are already hours and a day ahead of most of us) therefore we bloggers, wherever we live, are all dutifully forewarned in advance of any outage warning message that affects us all individually and on a day and time that is applicable to our Country without the necessity to be expected to live to the strange calendar date and hours that the blogger IT bods work to. They really should actually learn to acknowledge and accept and appreciate the very important factor that the vast majority of us bloggers don't use or live to their weird choice of PDT time.

So there.

My local neighbour - its a very small world!

A year or so ago I was aware of a house sell/purchase at the far end of the terrace of 5 properties where I am currently renting, so my new neighbour and I are sort of a pair of book ends.

Only very recently have I had reason to contact him and we are finding that we share so much in common.....working or residing or living in the same areas but in different years, similar in our outlook and humour, similar shared tastes and interests and what generally floats our boats and although he is a few yards from me we seem to have struck up a really nice friendship on email. He probably thinks the same as I do that it is nice to have a friend of the opposite sex and with no strings attached. I am not giving his real name but I'll call him Alan as its easier than referring to him as being "him, he, it, near neighbour or bookend".

Currently, Alan and I discuss many various topics via the internet. We may live very near to each other but we both have our individual lifestyles and our friends and our individual social lives but we do share a lot of common interests and we tend to basically communicate with each other by email and its fun for me to receive something on the XP from a new friend and find so much in common. I reply to Alan's email and go on to other topics and we find something else that we have in common and so on. Email pen pals takes on a whole new meaning when you consider that we both live about 30 seconds from away from each other.

His recent email really did surprise me as mentioned the fact that he lived in De Beavoir Town. Now, considering that this area really only covers a matter of a few square miles I am yet to reply to him that number 18 de Beauvoir Square (situated in de Beauvoir Town was actually my family home!) I know he'll know it!

I've heard of it being a small world but this is really getting to be totally ridiculous.

“I bet you sleep with it too……..”

Is the comment I have recently been receiving from my friends concerning my nocturnal insomniac sleeping habits when I am always online, but now curraintly ain't. With the addition to my recent bad back problems the latter really limits my time spent sitting at the computer.

Well yes, I have recently found out that sitting bolt upright in bed and propped up with 4 pillows behind me is very comfy and I can use the laptop and trawl the internet with comparative ease.

There’s the Big Black Beastie downstairs and the laptop currently upstairs. So yes, I do sleep with it which is taking geekdom to totally new heights - even for me.

Mind you, it’s no good at all between the hours of 2-5am when I hopefully expect anyone to be online just to talk nerdy to me.

Battle of the bulge

I think the moral of physio is ‘no pain no gain’ which is why I have not been at the XP or my blog very much simply because of the ache I have when I am sitting. It’s all very well having to walk creep arse about and do my exercises BUT I am so limited to what I am not allowed to do (which is quite a lot) and I have to limit housework seeing I am not supposed to be shoving round a cleaner.

Physio is working but it’s a slow process and currently there is a disc bulge which is pressing against the spinal column which is giving me understandable discomfort. Meanwhile I continue to refuse to take pain killers. It’s not a question of being brave but if I am a bit drugged up and numb I won’t know if I am overdoing the exercises and not helping my healing process. But the frustration of incapacity is getting to me as I am always so active and it is hard some times to go out with a smile on my face when all I really want to do is bite someone’s head off!

Last night I woke at 4am and toddled out to the garage and sat in the car as it seems to be the only seat where I can get comfy. Promptly fell asleep again – and its just as well the main garage door was shut else I may have got my neighbours wondering quite why I was fast asleep in the drivers seat at 7am and still wearing my pj’s – heh.

Meanwhile, at Whitehall......

The prequel

2010 General Election – would anyone care to vote for me?

I will undertake the following and NOT renege on my promises if elected.

a) I will allow the General Public the immediate vote as to whether or not this Country should remain in the EU.

b) If we do not remain a member then I will ensure that the monies remain in this kingdom for the benefit of its inhabitants and are spent on schooling, building of hospitals, additional benefits to the service men and women. Not only that but I will ensure that construction takes place with immediate effect for the building of power stations and underground gasometers as well as oil storage for this Country, the excess we can sell to Europe at our own named price.

c) I will ensure the loopholes in the Human Rights act are repealed and not taken advantage of or used until a set system of other appeals have been exhausted.

d) I will cancel all bonuses for Bankers and those employed in Stocks and Shares, but ensure that they have a sufficiently higher wage.

e) I will ensure that every Town and City has areas of space for dog walkers only whose pets are free to run off the lead.

f) I will ban fox hunting.

g) I will NOT allow benefits to immigrants unless they have resided in this Country for five years and have been seen to have a record of employment.

h) I will NOT allow housing or benefits or jobs to immigrants at the cost of the UK residents.

i) I will ensure that all schools speak English as a first language in classrooms but make available a staff member who is able to communicate in the individuals own language.

j) I will allow church bells to ring on Sundays as well as the erection of Christmas lights in all towns and cities.

k) I will ensure that the legal system works by minimum-maximum sentences for all various crimes which will be a statute to all Courts within the UK.

l) I will stop asylum seekers and immigrants. Those wishing to come here MUST have a job or MUST be filling a specific need that cannot be met by a British resident. They must also speak English. They will be taken on their individual merit and not because a family member already lives here.

m) I will have a female chancellor of the exchequer as a woman is better at making the contents of her purse go further than a man ever would and is better pro rata at budgeting without bleeding the taxpayer dry.

n) No further CCTV cameras will be installed and some currently on motorways will be removed. Existing CCTV cameras are for the use of the emergency services only and must remain on at all times (and not – as happened with the G20 riots, conveniently switched off in areas the day before)

o) I will ban internet snooping and the keeping of records for the majority of the general public. Only those known to be a possible or future threat will be monitored and only after a Judge has agreed to this surveillance.

p) All income generated from taxation of vehicles will go towards repairing our existing roads first and foremost.

q) I will look into the TV licensing fee re the public’s value for money.

r) I will ensure a standard national charge for gas, electricity and especially water rates so that the cost is fairly apportioned nationally with all inhabitants.

s) I will ensure that elderly people going into care have a level of care and they do not have to sell their homes to help pay for their upkeep.

t) I will ensure that the farming community are able to export their surplus after selling their products within this Country first.

u) I will ensure that all products are labelled both in metric and English measurements

v) I will ensure that more homes are built for the benefit of the UK residents and housing lists are amended to allow single people with no children the opportunity to be considered eligible for council accommodation.

w) I will look into the NHS and the eligibility of those expecting free treatment as to their origins and whether they reside here or have been employed here.

x) I will create more funding for medical and scientific purposes to avoid another brain drain.

y) I will ban the media from creating a panic by over zealously making a newsworthy item into a guaranteed mass public panic.

z) I will create 4 additional Bank Holidays to cover the patron saints of England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland.

aa) I will ensure that Members of Parliament have the option of a free small flat (within the proximity of Westminster) and a standard wage is allowed for their staff and general telephone, postage and travelling expenses - but this will have a ceiling and ALL receipts must be kept and approved by an appointed accountancy firm within their electorate area. The firm must have NO links to the MP.

bb) I will not take this Country into any war where this nation is not receiving a specific threat and I will ensure that the British Bulldog takes it's righful place instead of the current pet poodle that only benefits another nations whims and desires.

Most of this will be possible to commence immediately if you vote for me and you also vote that this Nation should come away from the EU as it is my full intention to proportion the income that I will receive and inherit to help clear our national debt as well as bringing in measures that will be expensive to do but I will be able to achieve this without the need for higher taxation as I am not sending millions of pounds to Brussels every day. I may even be able to reduce every individual’s deductions just a little initially – but I will try and increase the reductions as all outstanding commitments are slowly paid.

You know it makes sense! Vote for me – as your vote really will make a difference to us all.

Baby P killer's human rights appeal

I think the blasted Labour party have a lot to answer for but especially creating so many stupid rules regarding any individuals human rights. The basis of the human rights act gives too much leeway and loopholes for its frequent use – or should I say – frequent abuse.

The latest bleat from a cowardly scum regarding his human rights comes from the killer of baby P who is currently on trial for the RAPE of a two year old girl, this henious act he committed two years ago.

His defence lawyers (what defence can this cretin possibly have?) already have made eight separate attempts to have his rape trial thrown out of the Old Bailey and having been unsuccessful they are now going down his human rights route.

Crime committed in any shape or form in the UK obviously pays these days. Just bleat about your “human rights” – bah!

Source: Daily Fail

Girl, 12, among England's first three swine flu victims

A 12-year-old girl from Torbay is among the three first cases of swine flu in England, the Prime Minister revealed today.

The girl was on the same flight from Mexico as the Scottish newlyweds who have also been diagnosed with the virus.

Gordon Brown told the Commons that the girl's school had been closed and all 2,300 pupils offered anti-viral drugs.

.........ah its finally got itself down to the South West. Bugga.

As the crow flies it's about 15 minutes from me, if the crow drives a car then its 90 minutes but begs the question - Should I stand patiently in my normal queue at the supermarket or post office and simply sneeze very loudly thus creating a panic and mass exodus in knowing that I will get served a damn sight quicker than if I was still stuck impatiently at the very end of a long line of shoppers all waiting ahead of me for the check out?

(update at 14.58 - another case has been identified this afternoon and another school will probably be closed - as reports my best friend who is in the police down there and is currently working in the danger zone)

Ah! the truth is out (finally)

I've been really irritated recently in trying to work out quite what my little paperclip guy's problem actually is. I could not work it out myself or get any answers from him at all, so in frustration I had finally threatened him with deletion (has not worked) so I have recently taken to simply just ignoring him.

Little paperclip guy does not take kindly to being ignored- no, he certainly does not.

He wants to make an issue of all his points and clip his little inconsequential problems all together and shove them up on my flat screen for my 'kind consideration and attention' when I least expect him to do so and whether or not I like or want it.

But now I finally know what I have been doing wrong. Little paperclip guy is an obvious pervert and I am totally disgusted with him.

This Harman sexism law is getting ridiculous

The BBC and Channel 4 could be forced to use more female and ethnic characters and presenters in TV shows under controversial reforms of equality laws.

The change could hit programmes such as Top Gear, which has an all-male presenting team, and EastEnders, which has screened episodes featuring all-black, all-Asian and all-female casts.

This will certainly hit TV programmes and quite who presents what and who has to be included as cast/presenters in anything that we watch.

State-funded organisations are being ordered to boost the proportion of female, black and gay staff to reflect the make-up of the UK population under plans unveiled by Labour's deputy leader Harriet Harmaperson (reports the Daily Fail)

Now, where do I stand with this equality law issue? I do and I do not agree with it. Since the 60’s when women burnt their bras and demanded equality to their male counterparts there has always been this issue about same jobs, same pay. I never burnt my bra, I would have been flopping abaht if I had done so.

With some types of employment then yes, I do think that the pay should be equal. I have worked alongside men and we have all been doing the same job except they earned at least £3k more a year than I did. During times when I was a wages clerk I have seen two people employed sharing the same job, one male and the other female and yes – there is a salary structure for males and females – and the new male employee was taken on at a higher wage. I have trained a young man as my assistant and found that despite my years of experience and qualifications and my eleven years working for the company (and him being new and inexperienced) his salary started at higher amount than my own current wage. I found when the Company had to make 50 staff redundant I was one of those people but the new lad that I had trained remained simply because he saved them money long term.

So yes, with some types of employment there should be the same wage for both sexes. BUT let’s stop at that! There are limits to insisting by law that any employer must divide his workforce between percentages of male/female/black/white/gay/disabled and all on the same wage structure or be fined if they don’t. There are limits as to when a woman should expect equal pay and the types of job she does or can’t do or does better to warrant being treated the same financially – limits.

With the current recession and businesses struggling to survive it is the wrong time for Harriet to be making demands as this law will only mean a higher payroll for all these companies who currently are struggling to survive and which could well force them out of business. So we really do need a set wage structure for office, manufacturing etc., which will be brought in at stages. Then we can work towards equality with regards to ethnic minorities and disability at a later stage when this Country gets over bankruptcy. I’m disabled and can’t find employment because of prejudice but I can use my previous highly qualified working career before disability as well as my current unemployment life as a basis for my viewpoint. I am not biased in my views.

So, if this law means that on a woman’s program there must be male presenters too and on something like Top Gear we must see more women – gawd blimey! I can't yet get my head round that bloody GMTV's Richard Arnold let alone his ilk being on a woman's program no more than I could consider a really male macho type program having a fluffy dainty woman on it.

Harriet Harmaperson is no real friend of the wage earner or businesses or either sex as she has not thought this issue through to its fullest extent at all. Can someone please tell me what good she has ever done? (Excluding her milking the taxpayer for her ‘expenses’- and she is certainly bloody good at doing that) because I think she’s a total liability and certainly not an asset to the Government or more importantly to the people serfs that her Government are supposed to be representing.